HIS WILL

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In the rarest of days we are force to a situation.

A situation where we asked our existence, our worth.

That we will doubt our ability, and much our capacity to decide.

But rather than question our self, we should take the chance to seek God more.

Ask him if what we are doing is right, 

If we are doing things right according to His will.

Because sometimes he allow bad things, to see how well we hold on to our fight.

If we will still seek His guidance if the situation is against our favor.

MULI

Photo credits to childrenarethehope.or

Nasaan na?
Ito na ba ang simula?
Nandito na naman bang muli?
Mag-iisang muli na naman ba?

Masakit makitang may mga araw ng lumilipas na wala ng lambingan.
Na dumadaan ang araw na halos walang mapag usapan.
Na parang nasa magkabilang pahina ng magkaibang libro.
Na dapat huwag mo na lang punahin para walang pagtatalunan.

Bakit pakiramdam ko ...

Photo credits to monarch-butterfly.com

Buti ang cellphone laging nadadampian ng kamay at atensiyon mo ...

HURTING

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I am hurt.

I am trying to avoid this feeling for some time.

That I am afraid to confront this reality yet, here it is again.

I don't want to entertain the fact that you are hurting me 
and you can cause me pain, so badly.

I am far like you.
I am an emotional person.
And I don't easily forget.

It is precisely the reason why not all are welcome to enter my life.

You have no idea how much heartache you are giving me, yet after the pain has subsided 
I go on loving you.

Like you, many times I have shrugged off an issue in order to avoid a conflict.

In the hope that you will also recognize my sacrifices
rather than complain about my moods and character.

A lot of times, I want to let you go so you might miss me somehow.

That you might see my worth when I am already gone and far from you.

I don't know where life will lead us,
but I wish somehow, someday you will also see me 
and the simple sacrifices I am doing for you, and for us.

And yes, I am still hurting, again.

PATIENCE

Photo credits to @mari.angeles.771

We are still supposed to be on a honeymoon period.

Yet, the love and relationship is being challenged early on by a lot of things, 
especially by my health condition.

There were arguments, tears, and misunderstandings.

But equally, we made a lot of happy memories, laughters, smiles, 
plays, singin together and many other things.

And there is no denying that I lose some of myself, and the me that I get to introduced to you.

I admit I am double or triple times impatient, hard to understand and sometimes impossible to love.

I will not give a reason or excuse as to why I am like this, but rather I will appeal for more understanding.

Like you, I am struggling, to overcome a lot of things from physical to mental, 
so once more, I ask you to bear with ME.

NATIONALISM

Photo credits to 7stonesboracay.com

I am a Filipino by blood, thoughts, character and nationality.

As a child and as a student that I am today, I asked, how can I become relevant?

How can a young and free-spirited character that I am, can show love for my own nation.

Photo credits to internationalbridges.photoshelter.com

That everytime I turned to watched the news on television they were talking about extra-judicial killing and clipping the budget of the Commission on Human Rights.

Is it really that bad, I asked my self? But again, I questionned how can a child and a student can make sense when chaos is brewing outside the comforts of their home and school?

And then I remember, we are made to commit, to take our oath, the Panatang Makabayan.

That as a Filino and as a student, we should obey the rules of our school. And that we have to always follow the rules of our government.

Because everytime we exercise dilligence and give pride to our family, we similarly accord the same pride and dignity to our Alma Mater and to our nation, the Philippines.

Photo credits to justbluedutch.com

I am a Filipino by blood, thoughts, character and nationality.

SUFFICIENT

Photo credit to dailymail.co.uk

Somewhere along life, we wander.

And whether we do it for the right reason or just the spur of the moment,
it doestn't matter.

Because like any student that we always are, we need to learn.

And in the subject lesson called LIFE, we need experience.

And in the process of collecting life's data, experiences and facts, time is essential in order to process it.

So in life, it does not really matter whether you arrived in your target destination ahead of everyone, in time or a little delayed.

What is important is that you arrived sufficient of knowledge, equipped with essential values and with the right heart to love and appreciate.

UNWORTHY

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Too proud.
Yes. You are.
Such a proud and arrogant person.

You forgot the essence of friendship.
That you will only remember someone when you are in need, like the last time.

I thought we call each other friends,
   but I am very wrong.
Because a person of your kind don't          deserve the kind of friendship I know.

Anyway, thank you for teaching me
   to avoid your kind.
That the time spent with you
   should serve as an eye opener.
That you are not worthy of my
   friendship, much my time.

I hope one day you will realize
   the value of true friends, its dynamics
   and to nurture the friendship in its
   true and real sense.

REMEMBER

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Every now and then we get tired.

One day we wake up in the morning hopeful.

That whatever happens you will be okay.

But the next time you open your eyes you are thinking differently.

That you just wanted to go with the flow.

And then you will remember you entrusted your life with God.

There are times we cannot feel His presence.

We forget that we are no longer in control and it's okayanyway we are only human.

And what matters is we recognize Him the moment we remember.

WARMTH

Photo credit to iriselli.tumblr.com

It's wee in the morning

yet sleep is still elusive.

I turned left and even to the right

trying to find the convenient side.

Then I felt your toes touching,
as if it has its own life.

Suddenly it's your arms
at my forehead, repeatedly rubbing
until I recognized no more.

That feeling once again prevailed
familiar as it seemed
but I love the touches anyway.

Photo credit to videoblocks.com

THE NINE LIVES

Photo credit to theguardian.com

If life is like a cat that has nine lives to live by, do you think you can consume all of them in this lifetime?

Others can say nine is too many to use all of them in a single lifetime. Some may claim a couple of extra will do.

But have you ever gave it a thought as to how many times did you really get in contact with accident that almost took your life?

When I was younger, about five to seven years old I chanced upon an accident that cut my wrist including that thin and sensitive vein that can cause our life. That incident though long ago had left an imboasted mark, that to this day is still very visible.

Photo credit to theguardian.com

Second incident when I was almost hit by a taxi while crossing the street along Pedro Gil, Manila in early 80's.

Third, it involved a car that I chanced upon while driving alone a Nissan sedan on the way back home to Manila from Coastal Area in Cavite. The car I was driving went inside a 12 or 16 wheeler truck, but with God, and the angels intervention, the car while under, did not hit or collide.

Fourth, again I was driving. It was a Rocksta 4×4 jeep when after seconds I snapped and closed my eyes and when I opened, I almost hit a car which forced me to suddenly pull the jeep that caused it turned turtle around 1am in an intersection near Welcome Rotonda in Espana, Manila.

Fifth, still with a car. I was driving a mini-Pajero with my family as passengers, when somewhere in Bonifacio Drive I got entangled with trailer trucks and other vehicles bound for the north. I felt helpless and don't know what to do so I prayed and closed my eyes once more and left everything to God. Again, with faith, I and my family was spared from what could been a tragedy.

Photo credit to m.petmd.com

Sixth, I was in Koror State in Palau, driving my then Nissan Bluebird one afternoon of 2007, when my cellphone fell inside the car. I reached out for my phone while driving and like in the movies, my car lost direction. Luckily, there was no other car passing the opposite lane or next to me because I could have been killed on the highway.

Seventh, we went on a fishing trip with my nine Palauan companions and five Filipinos including myself. Because the weather was good and the moon was very bright due to full moon the experienced was almost perfect.

I was scheduled to go back to the Philippines that  time, so as a treat from my Palauan and Filipino friends they arranged a fishing trip. I looked forward to that activity because that was my first time. Somehow it was successful since we started early and I caught the biggest fish in our group.

But shortly before 11pm, the weather changed hitting the 20-seater boat with heavy rains and air that forced our boat to missed its original direction. In fact, it almost drove us to Mindanao island, here in the Philippines. During the uproar of the storm everybody was asked to put our bags at the boat's locker and wear life vests.

It was around 1 or 2am after thorough prayers individually and in group the rain started to subside. The captain who turned off the engine of the boat during the surged of the storm turned the engine on and slowly traced our way back. And it was only then that we realized the captain has no compass and extra fuel that we can use for unlikely occurrence such as what happened to us.

Photo credit to catster.com

Eighth, about January this year, 26th to be exact. I just finished taking a bath and was picking up the bath soap when I almost slid. But before I totally fell down in the shower I prompted myself to touch the wall using my shoulder and head because I can no more move my right hand, while my knees carefully bent and my butt was feeling the touched of the toilet so I can sit down. I then tried to turned to my left side for the door opening, but new problem arise, I can't stand anymore. With a hoarse voice I tried to call my Maritess. To my self I called her thrice but she said she heard me only once.

When she was already outside the shower room, I asked her to wait as I was having a hard time. Until now it remains a mystery, I don't know how but the door eventually opened. I asked for her help to bring me to our room. She tried but she cannot even carry me up. She rather helped me put on my short and shirt before calling the husband of my cousin who fortunately is an ER Nurse, to help carry me to the room. He immediately left as I changed clothes through my Maritess. He returned and asked me to drink catapres about three times to lower down my blood pressure but my body was not responding to the medicine, so I was rushed to the hospital. 

Then the next is history. And that was the eighth life.

The ninth, when I was only days old, my parents were always in panic at home as I would choked to death literally, because as it turned out I cannot drink milk. I was lactose intolerant. I survived the crucial days and months of infanthood through the helped of my aunt who was then a midwife at the  Philippine General Hospital-Pediatrics Unit. My parents agreed that I be placed in a clinical test for a new lactose free milk called NAN. Successfully, my fragile body positively reacted to the milk.

And now I am 6 days short to 43 years, and with God's love and blessing I am still very much alive. The lesson here is, we may not be aware but it has been this long that God is protecting us. That He has always been there whether we ask Him or not. He never abandoned us no matter how selfish, self-centered or unreasonable we are,  He will always be there for us.

Photo credit to dreamstime.com

PAST

Photo credit to quotespop.com

Did you see her, him?

How long was the last time? 

Is it one year, three, five or you have no more idea when was actually the last?

Did you two talk? 

How does it feel?

It's understandable that it gets confusing, but don't worry 

you are not alone in this.

The past, whether a situation or a person is something each of us can always looked at as reference.

Photo credit to webapp.zedge.net

There are instances that when we see someone from long ago, a sudden surge of emotion strikes.

And when things like this happen, it should not be kept rather it has to be recognized.

The feeling can only be confusing if the love for the current relationship is not that strong and deep because it's really obstructive.

Remember we can always like and appreciate anyone in life all at the same time, but the HEART can never LOVE two persons at a time.

Photo credit to srdjanvujmilovic.com

A man's heart is too selfish that it cannot share love with someone else.

There are people who loves to keep as many relationship as they can or more than they can handle. 

This is not because people of this kind is in love, but this is more of personal issue. 

Again, the past is something you can use to guide but not to live at.

BE A TRANSFORMER

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In a Sunday mass earlier this morning the priest talked about the Parable of the Prodigal Son. That while early in life he already asked for his share of inheritance and consumed everything, he managed to realize his mistake, repented and transformed.

The priest in his homily added, "praying is the process of letting go and letting done. You do  not only TALK when praying but also LISTEN to what GOD is telling us, so that you can be transformed in order to be TRANSFORMER."

AUGUST

Photo credit to @syam.mediavilla

It is August once again, my birth month.

Indeed this August is a month of gratitude.

It is a month filled with appreciation for the blessing of life and and chance.

I remember growing up, I don't get to enjoy this month of the year.

August is typically a heavy rain month with increased typhoons hitting the country.

 And other than the rains, typhoons and occassional floods, August is usually the periodical exam season during my elementary and high school, and midterm exams back in college.

So imagine my life then as a student, and even my early years as an adult working for then Catholic station, I still was not spared.

 Because for the Catholics, August 15 in particular is the Feast Day of the Assumption.

By the way August 15 is my natal day and which my real name was derived.

But everything now is water under the bridge for at this stage in life I get to enjoy and appreciate August more because of the gift of chance or opportunity that goes with it.

True, it is only through life's mystery and challenges that you will appreciate the gift of tomorrow which is called TODAY.

OTHER HALF

Photo credit to @mari.angeles.77

It was all in the past

the hurdles, pains and tears 

were all worth it.

I understand a lot more other things

will come our way supposedly

to test us, and our relationship.

There are occassional fights and tears 

but despite the not so lovely spice 

I still love us romantically, intimately and playfully.

My heart is filled with gladness 

each time I see you smile and laugh

not to mention your natural fondness for music and skit.

I always tell you "you are my life, the source of my happiness, the reason for my sadness and untiring inspiration." 

I hope to be constantly a better person, to be that someone equal to your love.

We reflect what others see

because we look and are good together.

Cheers to the countless love and memories that we will continue to unfold side by side.

And to the love that continue to blossom, and to the other half who holds my heart, ILOVEYOU, always!

THE HAUGHTY

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You are too distant.
Perhaps you are happy
Nothing seems wrong.
No wonder you need no one.

How about those times when you feel like the world is conspiring against you.
When you were so devasted.
Those days when you need an ear.
When the word friend is a must.

Photo credit to cartoonink.com

Of course, these days you don't need someone of lesser value.

All you want is to pamper your ego.
While many have been said,
It is easier to ignore than to retract.

Yes, ignore today because it looks unsignificant.

No social value in a world ruled by an arrogant hobbit.

He, who thinks that he is as tall as a giraffe, and as clever as the amphibians.

Photo credit to pinterest.com

Go head, it is your right anyway.
But don't bother to remember
Because you have long cut the ties
to what is called "FRIENDS."

SADNESS

Photo credits to www.philippinepicture.com

Tears fell
Heart cries,
In silence no one knows
As the soul mours from deep sadness.

Repeatedly, it's coming back
Always hurting
Kept asking questions
Asking which is what?

Like a bomb
You cannot tell when
But you know it will happen one day.

Should I let you go
To subside the pain
Will love be enough?

Are hopes sufficient
Do you want it bad
Is the person still enough?

If one day you no longer see,
No more talk
No more casual lies,
Perhaps surrender should be entertained.

RECOGNIZING HIM

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Did you see Him today?
Did you drop by, at least to say "hello"?

Were you able to open up?
or did you just go there because you are expected to?

It is understandable, of course it's hard to believe, to surrender at something you cannot visually attest.

But FAITH need not have to be seen nor to hold, only you have to BELIEVE.

And whatever your religion is, be it Protestant, Islam, Catholic or Iglesia Ni Cristo, among others, faith has to be exercised.

Photo credit to google.com

Every now and then we need to see Him in His house, temple, or church, or whatever you call it because we have to connect.

We need to bridge our relationship to God, that no matter what you call the God you are borned with, you have to show your regard to Him.

Photo credit to img.thebuddhism.net

It is also important to acknowledge His existence, that you recognize Him in your life, and that things will not be peaceful without His blessing.

Not because your life seems okay you will not seek God, for it is better to seek His intervention, than He imposing to be in your life because I tell you that will be painful.

ATTITUDE

Credit to Michelle dela Pena of Team Victores

Attitude is a broad topic to deal with

because everyone has it.

And it is often reflected in the way one behaves or thinks of someone, an issue, or a situation.

That is why we do things for a reason, we associate because we must, and interaction takes in for greater understanding.

Still, the word is huge and confusing, that's why it has to be simplified like in life.

We do things for a reason, not in random but according to importance or priority.

Association has to be done with care because life is often tricky and misleading.

Photo credit to indiacelebrating.com

    

We exchange commonality for compatibility, a common mistake usual to all.

And because we do something that we thought are important and of value, we line them up in our list of priorities.

The tricky part comes in when we include one unimportant aspect to our life that should not be.

Credit to Team Victores at m.facebook.com
 (from left to right Jaycee, Mich, Iram,
Emmy & Taylor)

And when this happens we get distracted, lose direction and often put ourselves in a situation we don't want us to be.

Therefore, be very discerning because "not all that shines are gold" and not everyone is worthy of our attention, kindness, and attention.

SIBLINGS

Photo creditd to howsouthafrica.com

They say a brother or a sister is like having a friend.

Although this is not applicable to all
there are some who lives true
that our siblings are our first real friend.

That while you have occassional misunderstandings and random fights
at the end of the day, your loved for one another still matters.

Sadly, this does not go for other people. There are brothers or sisters whose relationship will not even pass the word acquaintance.

There are siblings who are not on speaking terms, and not only for months but for years, and whose ties can only be identified in paper.

This rotten relationship were brought by many unsettled issues and disappointments.

The very reason why it is difficult on how and when to start again.

Photo credit to trauma-recovery.net

To those fortunate, and even to those with strained connections,  hold on to whatever is left of you.

Take care of your relationship as much as you value your bond with your partner, espouse, children, parents and friends because not all can enjoy the gift called brother, or sister.

HEART TALKS

Photo credit to Iram Bueno

Have you tried to listen to your heart it might be telling you something?

I am a living witness of the wonder and miracles of the heart.

Yes, I did shrugged off a promised I once made, to what I thought was already destined for me, and  braved a chance that has no certainty.

But before that realization hit me, I spent countless hours making my existence felt, noting we were then miles apart.

I grabbed every chance possible to talk to that special one whether through phone, messenger or simply in chat.

Photo credits to tinybuddha.com

I tried to show the kind of person that I am without joining the arena of the guys who obviously wanted to win your heart.

From the time we were only dating until today nothing has change, only it grows everyday.

And true, time help us meet people in our life, but it is only our heart who decides who we want to stay.

Thank you for staying through all the good and bad times.

BATAYAN

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Batayan,
malawig
na
salita
na



kailangan intindihing mabuti.

Batayan, maaring patungkol sa isang salita na kung ia-analisang mabuti ito ay pamantayan.

Ngunit sa iyo may mabilis at malawak bang kahulugan ito?

Ito ba ay panununtanan mo ng narating mo sa buhay?

Ito ba yun mga bagay na nagagawa mo na dati ay kinakaya mo lamang?

Photo credit to aandbcounseling.com

Marahil kaya ito ay materyal na bagay na dati ay tinitignan mo lang.

Hindi kaya naman ito tumutukoy na sa kakayahan na may dalang kasikatan sa kasalukuyan na dati ay inaasam lang.

Saan ka man dinala, at ano man ang pakahulugan ng batayang nagsisilbing gabay ng ngayon para sa iyong bukas, hangad kong lagi ay magtatapos ito sa habang buhay na ligaya.

NEVER FORGET

Photo credit to ru.depositphotos.com

In our busy life and desire to stay focus with our self made goal WE become passive.

We forget the rule of the universe.

We tend to overlook people by accident.

We look at narrow things rather than broad.

We carefully select whom to identify ourself.

Not minding the values that you are losing, the regret that you will later unleash and the pain from all the realizations that you will later pour out.

Photo credit to pinterest.com

That is why it is most important that even in our toxicity, in days when you feel that things are not being fair, when those people around and closest to us have become disappointments, it is good to still recognize and do one act of good deed.

Remember the saying, "what comes around goes around."

If you do good even in the smallest way or act it has a way of going back to you in the most unexpected way.

And when you do bad though unitentional, it has its way too of coming back to you, worse even to people you love the most.

EXPRESSION

Photo credits to artsartistartwork.com
searched through google.com

Some time in our life we care to express.

We love the feeling of imparting something.

Expressing can be done in a form of message such as text, messenger, or dropping by at someone's place simply to say "hi or how are you?"

And it doesn't have to be on a daily basis, timing is all that is needed.

But what if you lose the attention, probably tired of being in the other side.

Whether in an intimate relationship or in friendship, we have a responsibility to keep.

Responsibility to keep the relationship, to see that it is still in order, to know that the other is okay, and to check if you are still okay.

Photo credits to imagekind.com
searched thru google.com

It is sad to know there are people who wants being check-out every now and then, yet fail misserably from doing their part.

Remember, regret always come after we have done the things we should have not.