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| Photo credit to flickr.com |
Life is not a bed of roses, so is our relationship.
We need to constantly prune them in order to grow, whether the relationship is with our family members, friends, or special someone--all the more we need to cultivate them.
Yesterday, my partner and I celebrated our 59th month together. Truly it was a blessing as our union is constantly challenged by misunderstandings and differences. While our fights don’t come as often as the other couples perhaps, ours arrived when one is vulnerable and too weak to hold on.
In fact, days before the heart's day, we had a serious issue that I raised as I noticed that our physical needs has become some sort of an appointment or schedule. And so I asked her if I can no longer turn her on as she always refused to use “work tomorrow” or “sleepy” as her regular excuse.
On February 15, we went on a staycation as a gift from our friend. Of course, I expected that her shortcomings in bed would be fulfilled that night. However, all my expectations shattered when she kissed me goodnight and turn her back on me as we lay down together in a king-size bed. To my dismay, I asked her straight in a quiet and calm voice. “Do I no longer turn you on?”, “How about my needs?”, “Do you still love me?”, and so on.
I got no response. The questions eventually turned to tears as I monologued that I could no longer remember exactly myself. I stopped that night by calling our relationship off. All the time I was talking, she was also in tears.
And to add insult to injury, the only thing that she managed to say to me as she doesn’t know how to explain herself. I was so disappointed and infuriated by her response. I told her it’s okay. There was no need to explain as we will be starting a new life separately after that day. I fell asleep crying that night.
I woke up late the following day. Upon seeing me when I get off the bed, she greeted me “good morning”, handed me my pre-breakfast medicine, prepared my coffee and breakfast as she sat across me. It’s as if nothing happened the night before. Occasionally, during the day as she was working that day, she would kiss me on the lips or hug me as I passed her. And that night, she initiated the move and made love to me, said sorry, and explained her side.
I love her so much. That while every now and then she still could not attend to my physical needs, I never insisted. It was never my personality to impose myself on her or on anyone for that matter. It is still a work in progress and I thank her for trying because this is something we have both discussed and agreed on even before we became official.
Therefore, taking care of your relationship and protecting them against external and internal forces whether you are in your 20’s, the ’40s, or ’60s must be done with affection and love.
We need to prune especially to people and things that matter to us in order to keep them so that they’ll give back to us in return.