SYMMETRICAL

 

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As the the clouds covered the sky

hesitation comes in.

Much to my dismay, 

I can see the path I am about to take 

is darker. 

And so I turn to other directions, 

To my surprise, I saw people heading the opposite journey barefoot, 

With much smaller than me, yet bravely making their walk. 

As if the sight I saw was sufficient enough to comfort me, 

I took a deep long breath and started the journey.

Noticeably, as I go farther the steps become harder to take. 

But despite the occasional hurdle along the way I continue walking. 

As I follow the path, the people before me that have walked the road have in a way made the way clearer, and wider as if preparing me for the easy travel. 

There were shades and provision for seating in case I needed to stop and rest.

While I managed my phase, those ahead of me were in a hurry. 

So I got curious, once more I turned at the back. 

There were dozens walking symmetrically towards my direction. 

However, I noticed that as I pause, most of them also cease from moving. 

I have forgotten how long I have been traveling

But I could see from where I am 

that the sky is much clearer compared to when I was about to take the step. 

But while I could not tell what can be expected in between the journey, 

as the clouds would come and go,

It is also good to know you are not alone.

 

Hence, I realized why not enjoy the walk. 

Take pride in the beauty of moment, 

Do not worry on things that is not present, rather let things unfold before you

For you may not be able to witness the same road you are traveling now.  

GREAT LOVE

The photo was taken by @Iram Bueno at @Twin Lakes Hotel, Tagaytay on March 22, 2019.

Smile with me for I am still here.

Look at me while you can see the happiness in my eyes.

Talk to me while words can still be heard.

Hear me out while the voice can still say a thousand words.

Love me while I am still around, 

While there's still a chance for one day, 

I will be eternally gone. 

For one day, words will no longer mean,

And love will never be felt, 

For when that day comes I am already gone.

(an impromptu poem written by the blogger in a comment box of a social media platform on January 23, 2016, dedicated to that one great love)

TO SELF-WORTH

 

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​How are you today? I know the day-to-day struggle is indeed real, whether you are single, in a relationship, solo living, with children, and with family members. 

I, myself could attest to this as there are physical, mental, psycho-social, and professional challenges among others that each one of us has to deal with.  And hurdling, and winning the day-one battle is often different from day two and so on and so forth. 

In my own personal experience, I could never say I am winning the battle every day. In fact, there are days, sometimes weeks that I am knocked out. But while I lost the other day, I don't deny the fact that tomorrow or the next day, I must help myself to continue to keep going, to struggle again. 

Literally and figuratively, it is and will be the case for a stroke survivor like me, especially these last two years that we are under the pandemic. Also, I must take into account my financial needs for my lifetime medication, and fulfill my part of being the only child right now to check on my aging mother because my other siblings are abroad working. 

While I struggle physically, which includes moving and walking, I must also keep my mental state healthy to ensure that emotions would not get through me as it could shoot up my blood pressure, I must likewise check to ensure that I get to visit mom every now and then. Why we are not together is another topic to discuss.

Anyway, since I could not handle it all at the same time, I often address what I think would be easier for me for that specific day. There are days that I would not do any because the priority is either my mental state or keeping the blood pressure stable, and there are days that I would love myself more. It then translates to trying to work out a little to keep my blood flow running smoothly. If such is the case I also then address the physical,  mental, and emotional balance that any human body needs. And like others, the monetary concerns would often take the least as there is no certainty where to get them. 

You see, each one of us is going through something, you just have to help yourself to look for ways to channel our individual issues and focus yourself on something else, or even encourage others to take responsibility for their situation rather than pity themselves. Remember the old quote from the great national hero, Dr. Jose Rizal "To live is to be among men, and to be among men is to strive".  

Perhaps you can help by nurturing self-worth, and the sense of fulfillment and accomplishments that men should continue to embody no matter how crucial the world is. Besides, it doesn't have to be a huge accomplishment, start on little things that matter to you, and let them blossom and be beneficial also to others. True, it would be a long process but we must always try while we can just keep believing in ourselves, then ask and trust God for guidance.  

TODAY

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​Whatever you are going through live life in the present. 

Savor the moment instead of nourishing what was.  

Whatever days, hours, minutes, or even the seconds left of you, for you will not be able to breathe the same air of that exact moment again so live now.

Stop making regrets rather enjoy the present because we only live at once.

BRAVING LOVE

 

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Have you been challenged to step up to prove you are worth the try?

Since today is about the matters of the heart as we celebrate Valentine's Day, of course, I too have my share of the challenges, as well as the trials of falling in love and wanting to win the love. 

Back then, I was in a 13-year relationship but unhappy. I felt we managed to stay that long together because of the comfortability of set up, plus we don't fight. Hence, no reason for breakup. 

In the 10 years of the relationship, I was already praying that I may be able to have the courage to face the problem as I have been frequently airing my concerns to the person I am with and would always be promised to work on them. But in the end, no action was taken. 

In the 11th year, I met a friend. We both have a connection but not sufficient to grow into something else. In the 12th year, I accidentally chance upon a high school crush via a social media group of our batch. I happily told my partner about everything, but I was asked to stop without allowing me to finish my story. Flashback a little, early on in the relationship I was told that I am free to admire and fancy celebrities and players but never an ordinary person including those with titles even if they are not popular, because my partner then believed that I can lure anyone to also like me. 

So I never mentioned, raised the name or talked to my partner again about that crush of mine, but neither did I stop. In fact, I managed to keep a good friendly  relationship, and as I went along, I welcomed conversations that I mostly initiated. It then validated one thing, that I am done with the person I am with back then. Precisely the reason why I could clearly see the problems and mistakes because I have lost the love.

The issue of unhappiness eventually evolved into how to tell the person that I have fallen out of love, and that I wanted out of the relationship when the one I am with continue to refuse to recognize that we had a was already over.

Then we had this weekend activity that lasted about four at dawn, as we were cleaning up the bottles, the question was asked of me, "are you happy?" For me it was like a gun pointing at me, an unguarded question at an prepared instant that got my nerves shaking and made me really palpitate. After moments of composing myself I answered, "do you want an honest answer?" 

To cut the story short a little over a month after the 13th year, we bid goodbye. It was a mutual decision that benefitted both parties in the end because we finally confronted the issue facing us. So I moved on with the hopes that perhaps this time I am worthy of this second chance at life and love. 

Lesson: Only if you are willing to take the risk, and brave the chances that you can deeply appreciate what you are missing. In real love it is always worth the fight, although it is not always that all will emerge as successful as the other. Just don't give up on love for love knows no age, boundary, race or gender.

EQUATION

 

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Early last night my cousin who is a doctor and owner of the unit we are living in knocked on our door. And because it was rare that docktora would ask for assistance, I immediately responded as my partner moved to let her in. 

Upon entering Ate said, "Sorry, please. I'm having a hard time working on excel but this is not for me, it's for Kuya." Ate is a full-time doctor working at the city health office and her husband, a senior emergency nurse at the Philippine General Hospital (PGH) are living without a house help or tutor. We all lived in a compound that Ate inherited from her parents. They do things by themselves from cleaning, cooking, and doing laundry. 

The only time that we could be of assistance to them involves the use of computers, online or digital payment, and other writing needs. While Ate can work on excel that one was quite a challenge for her because the formula in the book and the version of Excel being used didn't actually match to supposedly achieve the result. And like in the formula of the equation, multiply what is greater than or less would be the equals. 

Thus, like in life, day-to-day living is similar to an equation where you sometimes have to multiply with the option to increase or decrease what you will take on as part of your responsibility. It was always a joy to be of help to people you care about, and we hope to do the same to others by sharing my version and understanding of life. 

In life, man must learn to recognize, appreciate and extend a hand to be able to move forward. It is not enough to just be a floater, sometimes it is good to put weight on our presence to put greater meaning to our existence.

ONE DAY AT A TIME

As we end the week this Friday, let us perhaps start going out of our comfort zones. Like in this blog, where I randomly thought of doing a short video. 

Yes, I am very well aware that I don't register well on video, that I am camera or video shy but that is beside the point. What I am saying is that we have to learn to take steps or decisions in life that is beyond the ordinary. That we have to also sometimes experience uncomfortability, to be able to also say that it's okay not to be okay. 

Try it. Even the baby steps, and you would be surprised that from that small steps, one day you will realize that these baby steps has help you reach that far.

Start now while you still have today. 

Happy Friday!

DRIVE AWAY

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Have you chance upon the passage "For when I am weak then I am strong"? This was my favorite quote back in the olden days especially when in the midst of adversities.

And now that I am already at my prime, I admire people who remain strong as they go through many obstacles in life. Because it is true, not everyone can be strong enough to accept problems as a challenge to solve and not as a misery bound to bring discomfort. 

I also submit to the bible teaching that God allows pain, failure, struggle and hardship to come our way because He loves us. Because through these experiences, when we are filled with discomfort that man truly learned the lesson that he has to remember in life. And with faith helping to lift you up, surely you can overcome any adversities.

Of course, clarity and solutions will not happen in a snap of a finger but definitely God will allow you to witness the reward of trusting Him, of working towards your hurdle even if it looks impossible and uncertain. So rather than making you look miserable, why not get up, and tell yourself that this one is bound to pass.

Help yourself or anyone who is going through right now. Drive away whatever that situation or feelings that you are in right now.  Extend a hand to anyone who is calling for help.   Remember, a man becomes helpless only if he allows the situation to drown him. Instead of drowning, you can opt to float and later on swim and see where the water will lead you. 

​90-DAYS

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As you walk today to continue on your journey, I hope that you will be more discerning. Because you were only given 90 days to be in control. 

In these 90 days, you have to learn what you ought to know, ask what you want to be clarified, and understand the consequences ahead, as this is your only opportunity to maximize the getting to know you phase.

Of course, they would make you believe They would want you to hope, you would be lured to their side, as they would want you to be with them. And to be able to do that, you have to like them and eventually fall in love. 

It's okay to fall in love but never lose your eyes and mind to the realities. That as you open your ears to promises and commitments, you are also opening your mind to what is invisible to the eyes and ears. 

If you are lucky enough you may receive a gift or a token, but beware for later on in life you will be charged more than what was given to you. Yes, you didn't ask for it but remember there is a catch on this, and that is to make you pay for the amount incurred during the 90-day pursuit.

Truly, it is a sad reality that everyone should be made aware of, that no matter how sweet and grounded they may seem, that was just one of the many phases and attributes. The true integrity and character of that one person you thought could help change your life for the better could be seen when he is already in control of you. 

Of course, not everyone is the same, the very reason why you are asked from the very beginning to be discerning is that once you have already given your​r​yes, there will be no turning back, or, perhaps not in another six years. So please, get out of your comfort zone and dig deeper, try to know more about them to avoid regret and lost chances. Because getting up from a fall from a broken branch is always painful and never easy. 

MISSING

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To a Champ who I am now starting to miss. The Champ who during the old days had the "conquer the world" spirit which today are now losing.

I miss your sharpness, who in a snap could easily identify and remember.

I miss the optimism, that whatever is happening around you, you don't get easily distracted.

I miss hearing your laughter that the people around you would either laugh with you or get annoyed.

I miss the "invisibility cloak" that makes you before more attractive to others.

 

I miss the sweetness that only very few could see. 

I miss the many part of you that are slowly fading but no one could notice. 

I miss the child in you as there is no more room for playtime.

I am sorry that you are missing the attention you freely give, yet unreciprocated.

I miss the eyes that only see the one.

I miss the Champ because now you have grown to be a man.

​CIRCUMFERENCE

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The moment any man comes out in this world your life is already traversing in circumference. Others may not be able to rationalize it at once, but we all are. 

Typically, it is during the hardest or lowest of times that we realize things happening as they come, although it has been there all the while waiting for the right timing to attack.

Because by nature men could be jostled easily when troubled by concerns pertaining to family issues, love problems, career challenges, health, or financial difficulty, no one normally sees the catastrophe that is about to hit. But anything that comes in between these adjectives of life, men usually would pass. 

Also, the ride that you would take varies from that of the other depending on how well each man will handle the hurdle. Therefore, there is no harm in waiting for the ocean to calm down before crossing the sea. For in life, you don't always have to face every battle head-on, it helps to also gather your thoughts, the how to's and calculate the risks involved before making a final go, as life is a circumferential road so whether you take the highway or the street road you will still move forward. It would be a matter of time that will determine whether it is ahead, behind, or right on time. 

Enjoy the road because God will not permit you to travel back in time to touch the same water again. 

DEPTH

 

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Have you ever wondered why things are not working as planned? or why is the result going against the desired outcome?  

Maybe because you are being taught something else. That perhaps, God is asking you to go a little farther. That he wants you to go out of your comfort zone. 

You may think that God is rude? No. Of course not. Like any ordinary father, I believe God is allowing complexities to be experienced by everyone in variations, to teach us that life is not all about enjoyment, good things, happiness and achievements. That as we journey towards the pleasure of the world, men should also learn to bend, get soaked, get hurt and go deep to better appreciate what we have no matter how small or big. 

Why? Because oftentimes, people when overwhelmed by happiness, grief, trouble or even by success forget to thank and appreciate God for his interventions. It is typical of a man to complain rather than to celebrate when there's hardship. 

In your alone and quiet time, I ask you to instead of nursing what was lost, and looking for something that is lacking perhaps you could also reflect, "what is it that I can do to be worthy of your God's love?" 

Life at times may look troubled or stagnant because you are always choosing what is comfortable. Listen with your heart, not with your ears, for God wants you to walk extra, bend some more, get soaked and go deeper in life's meaning and purpose. 

Let go of the pride. It will not hurt to offer a little sacrifice, to be of service and to be the source of smile to others.  

Begin today, live a life of meaning by making a difference. And like Fr. @Jerry Orbos always says in his preachings "BTS--believe, trust, surrender." 

THE TRAVELER

 

Photo and content owned by Syamii Devmed

Sharing today a poem that was randomly wrote years back. That time, I was at the crossroads, torn between letting go-- with the hope that someday meeting that one again.

Of course, it was an outlet hiding the words through the phrases. Back then, it was very hard as I was not used to sharing personal issues and the challenges that goes with it, and also to "so-called friends."

This morning, I chance upon "The Traveler" again after roughly seven years. While the circumstances of my personal travel have greatly improved. I still find meaning to it. 

That is why it is good to also write to yourself, or to document whether in the form of drawing, writing, painting or anything that would remind you of your current challenges. Because one day you will definitely look back, and when you look again you could see how well or poorly you hurdle your personal storms. 

This is not to brag, but rather to inspire others as there are many people out there struggling, fighting a series of crises in life. The challenge is whatever you are going through, as long as you are willing to lift yourself up, you will get through it. Stand up, today maybe a rough episode again but it will not last that long, for no storm has a lifetime.

​DIGNITY & RESPECT

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What has happened to the basic tenet of human existence that all men regardless of age, religion, race, gender, status, and ability must be accorded with dignity and respect? 

At this period and time, human dignity has evolved and become harder to define, and on what ground it is based? As the basic core

of any community, which is the family, oftentimes they are responsible for taking away the dignity and respect that men should be upholding.  While this does not refer to everyone, there are people who would prefer to lose this principle in exchange for something. 

 

The Philippine Constitution said the state values the dignityof every human. Even the

declarations and constitutions of other countries and international organizations such as UNESCO AND WHO are likewise committed to protecting this human doctrine. 

 

But what about the family? Is it really better for some to lose the principle than to take charge? What's the point of discussing all these? Because I noticed that in these last two years of the global health crisis, many have surrendered their loved ones to the care of facilities rather than them attending to their needs.  That there are people who would rather beg for money for food and other needs than work for them. There are also those who would prefer to be quiet than fight for the right and unjust death of parents in exchange for a huge amount. 

 

Last night, I was so upset to see a man in a picture. He was apparently tested positive for Covid and suffered a stroke. He was lying on a bed with oxygen, legs open, and in a diaper. The picture was sent to us by his family. I don't see the point of making him look more miserable when he already is. His state would already define his condition and no need to sensationalize it.

 

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The patient family was asking for financial help, of course, people would ask for proof as many have been using this scheme to make easy money. And because the information provided was insufficient, validation is needed. Thus, a picture of the concerned person was requested. Indeed, the family provided, but they could have covered his lower body before taking the shot and sending the picture, right?

 

Human beings whether sick or healthy, alive or dead must be accorded with dignity and respect. You, them, everyone--are raised with love, attention, and care.  Not because life these days is full of complexities and hardship you will lose affection, empathy, and respect to your fellow man, all the more to your siblings. At one point your parents turned the night into the day just to comfort you. Your brother let go of his meal so that you can have more, or your sister let go of her chance to provide for you so you can have a better life. 

 

Do not lose yourself, the dignity of your loved ones, to what is easier, to what is more comfortable. Because it would come back and will haunt you once again until you have learned the lesson, and sometimes if not always, it is much harder. Bend a little, let go of your pride, say please help if you must, any way you are born with a silver platter. 

 

Remember, "what goes around, comes around." God is watching all of us.

 

SCAR

 

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In life, we all go through a series of trials, pains, heartaches, triumphs, and success.

And as we journey through life there are wounds that no matter how many years have passed the cut still hurts. 

 

Sometimes, this one person whether a member of the family, boyfriend, girlfriend, partner or just someone who you knew for one reason or another pulls a knife at your back leaving a scar that to this day causes you pain directly or indirectly.

 

Of course, no one wants to carry a wound all their life. Please, allow yourself to be healed because you deserve it. You are worthy of inner peace, happiness, and forgiveness. Therefore, don't let the pain of the past get in the way and control you. Don't let that unimportant someone force you to commit a sin.

 

Although it would not be easy, still let go. I remember reading a quote from @Way2KnowledgePortal that says "Always the WRONG person teaches the RIGHT lessons in life! (It is called life experience) Everything is valuable only at 2 times: 1. Before getting it, 2. After losing it".

 

Perhaps you can use this to understand whoever that hurts you. I mean, try to be in that situation, assimilate yourself then slowly try to move on and forgive. If you cannot forgive the person, maybe you can forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be consumed this long by hatred, anger, or pain. 

 

Forgiveness is a long process so better start now. That way you are letting yourself see the true beauty of peace. Be healed in order for you to also be an instrument of healing of other people. 

There is no precise formula for getting healed but you can always start by praying for that person. Ask for spiritual intervention, that hearing his/her name or seeing the person again would eventually not matter to you anymore. Repeat this process until you can feel no more. Soon you would be surprised by the miracle of prayers. And when that day comes that the plug filled with pain, anger or aches is no more, please come back and share with us.

 

Aja, my friend. God is with you.